Happy Mother’s Day! Love, Middle Mom

Definition: Middle Mom

/ˈmidl/ /mäm/

noun:

1. Not the first, not the last, but mother to a child during their moments away from their family.

2. Standing in the maternal gap for a child between their past and their future.

 

Mother’s Day is normally seen as a happy, celebratory holiday. During this time foster moms are often granted the honor of being celebrated by their foster children. Often the children desire to give us the handmade gifts they make at school or daycare. After all, we are middle mom. We as mothers know the depth of love a mother has for their children. We can’t bear the thought of being away from our child on such a special day. So how do we celebrate for our children’s first mother? Part of our role as middle mom is to encourage the relationship between the child and their biological family. One way we do that is to celebrate their roles in the child’s life, on days such as Mother’s Day. Below are ways the Dropping Anchors Crew has celebrated Mother’s Day for our children’s biological mothers.

~Stephanie had her two year old son draw a picture and she hand wrote a letter to accompany his picture.

~Michelle and Leslie did similar projects to send. Michelle did this cute footprint heart on a canvas, while Leslie made her child’s footprints into a card.

a b

~Each year, Lynne gets an updated photo of the child and places it in a nice frame to present on Mother’s Day. You can find many promotional codes on websites such as Shutterfly for discounted or free prints during holidays. Currently Shutterfly is offering (2) 8×10 prints or (1) 16×20 print using promo code NCFREEPRINTS.

~Stephanie also gets updated photos of the children but she includes them as part of a pampering gift basket, complete with items such as chocolates, lotions and body spray.

~Having an older child on Mother’s Day means they really want to be involved in purchasing/making the gift. My previous foster daughter wanted to purchase items for her grandmother, so we went shopping to find items she would like, such as a potted flower and an angel figurine. Though her allowance didn’t cover the cost of these items, it was very important for her that she spent her own money on her grandmother’s gift. I covered the remaining cost. She also handmade a card and we spent time together making the presentation perfect. It was a great bonding time for us, while promoting the relationship between her and her grandmother.

We found a few other great ideas when searching for this year’s Mother’s Day gifts:

Lory’s Page showcases how to create this gem, using the child’s thumbprint:

c

Thirty Handmade Days  teaches you how to make a hoop art using the outline of your child’s hand. This one is for the more craftier middle moms.

d

Ollie’s Room shows a tutorial on how to create this Mother’s Day handprint tree which could be great for siblings.

e

Of course, there is the ever timeless silhouette of the child’s profile. You can have this professionally created, or you can do it yourself by tracing the child’s shadow with chalk on black cardstock, cutting it out, and pasting to a heavy cardstock. The example below is a professionally drawn silhouette by Clay Rice as featured on Cotton Tails.

Clay-Rice-silhouette1

Are you required to do this for your child’s mother? Absolutely not. But, why wouldn’t we, as middle moms, want to share in this tradition with our child? Martina expressed that with her first foster son, he was placed with her just prior to Mother’s Day, so she only gave his mom a card “from him.” In retrospect she now wishes she would have taken more time to celebrate with his mother, possibly having brunch, a visit, or even a bouquet of flowers. As a middle mom, I encourage  you to take the time and do something for your child’s biological mother on this special holiday, even if you have yet to build a strong relationship with her. It will mean so much to your child, their mother, and you as well!

The Dropping Anchors Crew would like to wish all first, middle and forever moms the Happiest of Mother’s Day!

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About Alisha Palmer

Alisha and her husband Shane have been therapeutic and medically fragile foster parents since 2012, caring for many children from medically fragile infants to therapeutic teenagers, and numerous in between. In 2015 they adopted their two amazing daughters from the foster care system. She is a foster care and adoption advocate who strives to encourage others to step out of their comfort zone and into this world, providing love and stability to children during their darkest times. Follow her on Instagram @fosterloveforeverhome.
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