Dear Mom

flower_anchorDear Mom,

I see you each week at visits. It wasn’t by chance that we met. It was by tragedy, actually. I see you try. I see you fail. I see you cry tears of pain and I see you smile with pride. Sometimes both at the same moment. I see the love you have for your child. I see the love your child has for you. I am honored to love your child during this difficult time in both your lives. On this Mother’s Day I want you to know I love you, too.

I have learned about your struggles, the hard things you experienced as a child. I wish I could have stopped that pain. Stopped that cycle. It is easy for everyone to be angry at you for the situation we are all in together… you know, foster care. But, I am not. I see a child that has experienced trauma and has now grown up and had children of her own. I see the hurting child inside of you. Trauma is hard to overcome but I believe in you. Your child believes in you.

We all have demons. Some are stronger than others. Yours have brought you to rock bottom. But there is hope. You have made it through some of the darkest times. You can overcome this one as well. You are a good mother. You had a bad day. Maybe even a bad few years. This isn’t the end of your story. This isn’t the end of your child’s story. You can start a new chapter right now. I want to help you start that new chapter.

It is often hard for me to be your advocate, I will admit. Sometimes I get so angry at your behaviors… until I am reminded that you, too, are a hurt child grown up. But what is stronger than my anger is God’s love for you and the love He has placed in my heart for you and your child. I will continue to advocate for you to be the best you can be. I will advocate for what is best for your child. I will support the love you two share. I will continue to extend grace to you, as God has done for me time after time. After all, you are the mother of a child I love dearly. You are a huge part of her story; and of my story now. We will always be connected at heart. Together, we can rewrite yours and your child’s story so she doesn’t continue to experience the same trauma you had to endure.

It wasn’t by luck that our paths met. In fact, our paths met because of terrible circumstances. But today? Today I am glad we are in each others’ lives. Fate has brought us together for some reason. We will find out that reason soon enough. Until then I just want you to know I believe in you. I support you. I love you.

Happy Mother’s Day.


Foster Mom


About Alisha Palmer

Alisha is an adult adoptee that has been a therapeutic and medically fragile foster parent since 2012, caring for many children from medically fragile infants to therapeutic teenagers, and numerous in between. In 2015 she adopted their two amazing daughters from the foster care system. She is a foster care and adoption advocate who strives to encourage others to step out of their comfort zone and into this world, providing love and stability to children during their darkest times. Follow her on Instagram @alishaypalmer.
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5 Responses to Dear Mom

  1. Love love love this. SO powerful. -Smitha

  2. Sally says:

    So perfect . A delicate balance of love and frustration .

    • Thank you. We strive to provide Grace but we also strive to provide truth on this blog. We all get frustrated but must remember why we are doing what we do. None of us are perfect but we are all part of the larger tribe for these children.

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