This is not a good time for me.

Part of the Dads Take Over series: Post by Shane Palmer


We are selling our home and are in the process of moving this month. To say the least selling/buying, showing a home, working out the finances, packing things up, storing things in a rental unit, holding down two full time jobs, all while raising two little (growing up so fast) girls can understandably be a bit overwhelming.

My wife and I had our quarterly visit from our foster parent caseworker mid-April and I advised her we needed to be put on a “not available status” for foster placements, due to all the above mentioned. Apparently she, nor the good Lord, seemed to care about my request and the next day we received a call that a 3-month-old little boy needed us.

I will admit to you, with guilt, I did not want this additional work load. I actually prayed, “Please, let another loving home take him. We just can’t do this right now.” You will notice I said “we” when in reality it was only me. Alisha, Kenya and Allison were all in from the word baby! I kept telling myself “This is not a good time for me,” but God kept saying to me, “This is not a good time for this child.” I understood the message and our home was quickly opened for business.

timing

I must tell you this little guy has brought much joy to the Palmer household in a short period. He has eased my wife’s heart knowing she is doing her mother’s and the Lord’s work. I have watched her become a great mother all over again with such a new little person. It seems so easy for her. I have seen my children welcome this new baby in our home with no animosity or jealousy. I know they understand our home is safe place for this baby, just like it was for them. I have learned these past few weeks to appreciate my family more, be thankful for our blessings, and to always remember:

“The Lord will not give you more than you can handle”

So, here’s to three-hour sleep cycles, a baby peeing on your wife at 2:30 in the morning, nasty little diapers, a cluttered house, vehicles filled with car seats, booster seats, diaper bags, and fitting 25 hours into a 24-hour day. You know what? I wouldn’t change a thing.

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Shane Palmer is the husband of Dropping Anchors mama Alisha Palmer. They have been therapeutic and medically-fragile foster parents since 2013 and during these past three years have welcomed 9 children into their home. Shane works in behavioral health and sees how childhood trauma affects adults and their coping mechanisms, many times affecting the families he works with in the foster care system. He is an avid believer in trauma-informed care and is a Mental Health First Aid Instructor. In 2015 Shane and his wife adopted their two daughters from the foster care system. You can read more about their journey in this post about their adoption, and this post about their one year  familyversary celebration. 

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About Alisha Palmer

Alisha and her husband Shane have been therapeutic and medically fragile foster parents since 2012, caring for many children from medically fragile infants to therapeutic teenagers, and numerous in between. In 2015 they adopted their two amazing daughters from the foster care system. She is a foster care and adoption advocate who strives to encourage others to step out of their comfort zone and into this world, providing love and stability to children during their darkest times. Follow her on Instagram @fosterloveforeverhome.
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3 Responses to This is not a good time for me.

  1. We too are foster parents of critically medical fragile babies. We have watched and nurtured 20 children in the past nine years ranging from one months stays to 2+ years. We feel blessed that God has given us the strength, endurance and health to be his hands and feet to these little ones. We are parents to two grown daughters, 4 grandchildren , and blessed to be parents again to our adopted daughter who is almost 7 , and adopted at age 2.

  2. bretagnebk says:

    Life happens by chance not plans. At least not ours. Bless you.

  3. emwilliams79 says:

    Glad to know there are good foster parents out here. Congrats.

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