Sitting on our refrigerator are pics of all the kiddos that have come through our home; the one in particular that has held the most heartache for us is a sweet girl that stayed with us for 18 months & who ,other than one very painful time, we have yet to see again. But that’s foster care isn’t it; the story doesn’t always turn out how you’d like it too?
However in our home now is a equally as sweet (though highly energetic & sometimes sassy ) girl that shares the same birthday & name with the girl we lost.
To be very honest she can be hard at times because trauma is a beast. The thing about that though that’s beautiful is she understands loss & the one thing foster kids & foster parents share is definently loss. We know what it’s like to be separated from someone you love. We know what it’s like to have your heart broke & no answers to the why’s that go through your head.
But to combat that pain in her I take my finger to her forehead almost every night & gently rub between her eyes, praying that Jesus would take the bad thoughts & pain away & whispering as much truth as I can into that girl.
Well after an especially hard day last week she goes to lil misses picture, closes her eyes and starts to make the sign of the cross on her forward and says these words over her…”God protect her and may she always remember how very loved she was in this house”.
What she & I didn’t know was that a couple of days later I’d get some news that would kinda knock me right back into that pain of lil miss leaving and all the confusion of why we don’t see her now, but when the tears started to subside I remembered this….. a girl, broken herself, anointing our other girl with her words & the only thing that both breaks & heals… the cross. And a moment of grace poured out before I even knew I needed it.
Truth is I may never see little miss again & I may never know why, but in losing her I’ve gained insight into the heart of every little one that comes into our home. Into the heart of our girl now whose faced far more loss than us.
And inevitably it’s these things, her story and ours, that become our own cross…. these things that both break and heal us but that are ripe to become a glory story.
And it’s these small moments when darkness retreats and He shines brightest that we’re all really fighting for. Because it might not turn out how you’d like it too but we can piece together something beautiful out of these stories.
So how about you? What’s your glory story? If you’ve got one share it!!