Glory stories…. anointed 

Sitting on our refrigerator are pics of all the kiddos that have come through our home; the one in particular that has held the most heartache for us is a sweet girl that stayed with us for 18 months & who ,other than one very painful time, we have yet to see again. But that’s foster care isn’t it; the story doesn’t always turn out how you’d like it too?
However in our home now is a equally as sweet (though highly energetic & sometimes sassy ) girl that shares the same birthday & name with the girl we lost.

To be very honest she can be hard at times because trauma is a beast. The thing about that though that’s beautiful is she understands loss & the one thing foster kids & foster parents share is definently loss. We know what it’s like to be separated from someone you love. We know what it’s like to have your heart broke & no answers to the why’s that go through your head.
But to combat that pain in her I take my finger  to her forehead  almost every night & gently rub between her eyes, praying that Jesus would take the bad thoughts & pain away & whispering as much truth as I can into that girl.

Well after an especially hard day last week she goes to lil misses picture, closes her eyes and starts to make the sign of the cross on her forward and says these words over her…”God protect her and may she always remember how very loved she was in this house”.
What she & I didn’t know was that a couple of days later I’d get some news that would kinda knock me right back into that pain of lil miss leaving and all the confusion of why we don’t see her now, but when the tears started to subside I remembered this….. a girl, broken herself,  anointing our other girl with her words & the only thing that both breaks & heals… the cross. And a moment of grace poured out before I even knew I needed it.

Truth is I may never see little miss again & I may never know why, but in losing her I’ve gained insight into the heart of every little one that comes into our home. Into the heart of our girl now whose faced far more loss than us.

And inevitably it’s these things, her story and ours,  that become our own cross…. these things that both break and heal us but that are ripe to become a glory story.

And it’s these small moments when darkness retreats and He shines brightest that we’re all really fighting for. Because it might not turn out how you’d like it too but we can piece together something beautiful out of these stories.

So how about you? What’s your glory story? If you’ve got one share it!!


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4 Responses to Glory stories…. anointed 

  1. Martha Stanley says:

    Our first foster baby, who also made us first-time parents at age 40, was with us two months before leaving to live with relatives. The night she left was one of the hardest. I still hurt at the memory of my husband weeping over giving up the baby we loved. We continued to see her & even babysit because her kinship placement family attends church with us. She was eventually reunified with her parents. One day while shopping in Walmart, I felt a woman pause near me. It was our foster baby’s mother. She stopped and thanked me for caring for her baby. It was almost shocking & very humbling. It’s so hard to express to a bio mom just how special her baby girl was and is to us.

  2. seanpfarley says:

    Stumbling upon this must have been serendipity. Firstly, I am by no means religious, but I have nothing but respect for those who are. Second – I’m a gay man with a partner who is fostering a child, which might go against what you believe personally, being Christians. If so, you can disregard my comment and we can move on. If not, I was hoping to react to the post I just read. I have been wanting to blog about my experiences fostering our little girl, but worry about repercussions. Should I? Can it backfire? Will I get in trouble? I will save those questions for our case worker. So I googled “Can I blog about foster” and your post was at the top of the list. I read it and it broke my heart. Though it was positive, it held what I fear most: losing our little girl. Our situation is unique: we are fostering my partner’s biological grand daughter, so there is the built-in family element. He and I have been together for 17 years so, naturally, this little girl is like my own grand daughter. The struggle has been difficult not because we are caring for her, but going through the process of appointments, doctors, case workers, therapists, you name it. We want nothing but happiness for this little girl. I don’t know. I just wanted to add my two cents.

    • allofthejoy says:

      Hey Sean. Thank you so much for your comment and please know you are more than welcome in this space. Faith is important to us and what keeps us going but that’s uniquely expressed by each of us so its not the defining factor of this blog. Most important to us is the building of support within the foster care community & giving voice to the messy & beautiful parts of this journey. Fact is we so desperately need each other to walk this out. ❤

      As for the question of whether you can talk about it, all of us have different views on it. I keep any personal info about myself or the kids private which gives me a little more leeway in writing about it, And each state is different. Some people share a lot of their kids story but personally for me I stick to my experience of it and minimize information about their cases because I don't feel its mine to share. I think as long as you put those safeguards in place you should be safe but definitely talk to your worker.

      And as for the other I so get it; this is not easy stuff. I can tell you from experience that should she leave you will make it and you will learn you had strength you never knew you had in you and you will never truly lose her because she will always be in your heart. For me the fear before it came was worse than actually losing her; it robs so much of your days. I finally landed on that the more time I spent looking to what might could happen the less I was actually able to accomplish in her life, but I can promise you I cussed a hell of a lot and spent way too many days crying so definitely praying for you & your partner as you walk this road. Please feel free to join us over on the Facebook page and reach out when you need it which if your like me is everyday. ❤

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