Building Relationships

The first children placed in my home long-term were two-year-old twin boys. I was still wide eyed and optimistic about my skills in single parenting. As it goes, my first few nights with them were a whirlwind. I dove head first into learning their food preferences, communication styles, and the very best snuggles in the rocking chair at bed time. Before I knew it I was smitten. 


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Early on I worked hard to build a relationship between me and the boys’ parents. With the case worker’s blessing I was able to supervise a number of visits, coordinate therapies around mom and dad’s schedules, and make co-parenting decisions with them. We celebrated successes and overcame challenges together. It wasn’t always easy. There were times they wouldn’t show up, or we would disagree, or miscommunicate, or any of the other things that come up in relationships. Through the ups and downs, working together for the wellbeing of the children was a truly beautiful experience as a first time foster parent.


When the boys went home I worried about the road ahead for them, but I knew they were right where they needed to be. And let’s be honest, I was due for some R&R. I am blessed to continue to be a part of their life as we bond over the daunting task of raising toddler boys. We make a point to schedule park dates and sleepovers. The twins know I still love them and sometimes I am able to give their parents a break. My son misses his “brudders” as he affectionately calls them and hates being an only child. It has been so good for them to continue to see each other and still have a relationship, even if it looks a little different now. 


We recently had dinner with the boys and their grandparents, and talked about their first day of Kindergarten! They are thriving and using words like “predator” and “cocoon” to tell me about a caterpillar. I was misty eyed watching them play together and reflecting on how far we’ve come in just three years.


In the midst of all the uncertainty in fostering, the opportunity for relationships to form is crucial. Reunification is the beauty of Christ’s redemption for his children unfolding before our eyes, and what a gift to have a front seat!



About brittasaurus

Former Foster Youth, Adoptee, Birthmom, Foster Mom, Adoptive Mom, Coffee Drinker Extraordinaire.
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