Smash Cake Dreams

Three and a half years ago we were celebrating my daughters 6th birthday. It hit me hard that I would never celebrate any birthdays with my foster son. This baby that I loved more than life itself would soon be leaving me, and not only would I never get to see him celebrate any of his birthdays, he wouldn’t even remember who I was in a few short months.

You know what? That’s the hardest part of fostering babies in my opinion; knowing you’ll never forget someone that will never remember you.

He had already stayed with us well past what anyone thought and now it was just a matter of time before he left our home… or so we thought based upon what was being told to us by caseworkers, lawyers, and judges.

My heart yearned to see him celebrate his first birthday. I’ve never been a fan of smash cakes and always said we’d never do them but all of a sudden just thinking I’d never even have the option of buying him one or not hurt my heart. I decided to pull him into the corner of the party, sit him in his Bumbo and give him a piece of birthday cake just to watch him smash it all over his face like babies do at their first birthdays. It was my way of experiencing this with him and healing my heart for something I was certain I would miss.

Today, however, we will celebrate his fourth birthday with us, surrounded by family and friends that love him unconditionally. He’s a spunky, superhero and sister loving, adventurous four year that lights up our life. I never imagined in a million years we’d be experiencing this, yet I’m forever grateful for each day with him.



If you’ve thought fostering would be “too hard” and it’d break your heart, then you are the exact person needed to be a foster parent. These children deserve a family that loves hard and unconditionally even when being faced with the biggest heartache you could imagine.

Not sure how to become a foster parent? Reach out to your local Department of Health & Human Services. They can point you in the right direction. Foster homes that love ALL IN are in great need at the moment. Please step up.

Alisha Signature

About Alisha Palmer

Alisha is an adult adoptee that has been a therapeutic and medically fragile foster parent since 2012, caring for many children from medically fragile infants to therapeutic teenagers, and numerous in between. In 2015 she adopted their two amazing daughters from the foster care system. She is a foster care and adoption advocate who strives to encourage others to step out of their comfort zone and into this world, providing love and stability to children during their darkest times. Follow her on Instagram @alishaypalmer.
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